quasify

I really need to buy some healthier breakfast foodstuffs. I was standing in my kitchen this morning holding a piece of cheese* sideways over the toaster. I do this because I don’t have a toaster oven and because warm cheese tastes better on my english muffin than would the colder version. It’s tricky because burning ones finger/ers is a not unlikely outcome of this process. As the heat warms the cheese, it becomes more flexible, pliable, malleable. It doesn’t melt per se, it’s still a solid, strong enough for me to hold with two fingers, capturing the toaster updraft.

I’ve been performing this cheese maneuver in a more or less identical fashion for years. The last few times, my joy in the process has been tainted by recurrent unwelcome thoughts about Rosie O’Donnell and her absurd 9/11 claims about fire not being able to melt the steel support structures that led to the collapse of WTC Building 7. I don’t really want to think about conspiracy theories or mob paranoia before coffee.

*I’m not really sure my cheese is real cheese. It’s ‘Sliced Jalepeno Yoghurt Cheese’ from Trader Joe’s, but it claims to be lactose and rBST free. Can real cheese lack those two essential ingredients?