quasify

Sprinting back and forth on a thick layer of sidewalk ice may seem fun at first, particularly that bit where you hit the end of the lead at max velocity, backflip and head off in a new random direction. You might be unaware of new consensus research showing that this behavior puts the health and welfare of bipeds tethered to you at substantial risk, particularly so when on sidewalks already littered with broken beer bottles, on hills or while navigating oncoming and uncaring MBTA buses. In the future please direct your excess energies towards mushing to Blanchards for whiskey survival flasks. Thanks, mgmt.